Magical Objects, part TWO (Seven Viking Romances V)

More magical objects for your reference and mine! From the Seven Viking Romances -- finishing up with the romance of Arrow-Odd, today, and moving on to the romance of King Gautrek (Son of Gauti the Boss -- Gautrek himself is kind of worthless), and then Halfdan Eysteinsson!

4) "The best of all swords" Snidil 
     It "never faltered in battle" owned by Odd's companion, Sirnir. That's really all there is to be said about it in the story. It isn't exactly magic, I suppose, but never faltering in battle seems pretty super-power to me.

5) Three Stone Arrows
     Gifted to Odd from an old man named Jolf while Odd was living in disguise (dressed in bark) and going by the name of "Barkman." These stone arrows could only be used once, and were meant to defeat an enemy which Gusir's Gift couldn't. Odd uses them, and they disappear after taking out his enemy.

From the Romance of King Gautrek:

6) Starkad's Magic Spear
     It appears to everyone else only to be reed, anad Starkad uses it to kill King Vikar in sacrifice to Odin, when Vikar would have made mockery of hanging himself to the god. When Starkad pokes Vikar in the side with it, it turns back into a spear. Magic!

From the Romance of Halfdan Eysteinsson:

7) Halfdan's Magic Sword
     Gifted to him by an elderly couple in the wood who nursed him back to health, the sword "seemed to drip venom from its edges." And it ensured victory to whoever held it -- at least if they "handled it properly" it would always find its mark.

8) A Necklace of Precious Stones
     Also a gift from the elderly couple -- the necklace protects Halfdan from harm, granting a certain level of invulnerability as long as the stones are whole. It's a good thing, too because half of Halfdan's enemies seem to shapeshift into dragons at the drop of a hat.

9) The sword Horn-Hilt
     Owned by a viking named Val, "inlaid with gold, and its stroke never failed."

We still have four Romances to go!

Related: Magical Objects, Arrow-Odd Edition

Magical Objects, Arrow-Odd Edition (Seven Viking Romances IV)

You might remember Arrow-Odd's magical arrows, from our discussions about his super odd religious choices. But these arrows, (undeserved by Odd, p.s.) are just the first a great many magical objects littered throughout the Seven Viking Romances, so I thought it'd be fun to go through the catalog, just in case anyone is in the market for something in their own fiction. Or wants to go on a quest. Either/or.

And that would be odd, with the red beard,
looking super baffled. (I still hate him.)
(image from wiki commons, natch!)

Let's start with the Romance of Arrow-Odd (but seriously I hate this guy).

1) Odd's Magic Arrows, AKA Gusir's Gifts
     These are the first magic objects we come across in this book of Viking Romances, and they have a couple impressive properties:

• They're feathered with gold.
• They always return after their shot, and they rarely miss. When a normal arrow might be stopped by some magic or other, Gusir's Gifts usually get the job done. (That said, you'd be amazed how many people get shot directly through both eyes and out the back of their skull, and still don't die.)

Odd uses Gusir's Gift to kill a great many people and monsters in his day, until they're lost to him in a fight against a giantess.

2) Odd's Magic Shirt
     While in Ireland, the Irish manage to kill Odd's BFF, Asmund. (And don't ask me why every opponent of Odd's takes arrows through both eyes and the armpits before they even slow down, but Asmond gets struck by one arrow and drops dead just like that.) Odd flies into a rage, of course, and starts slaying everyone in sight. Then he happens upon a group of women, and one of them, named Olvor, strikes a bargain with him: Let her go free, and she'll make him a magic shirt unlike any he'll ever find anywhere else. What made it so special? Well...

"You'll never be cold in it, either by sea or land. You'll never be tired when swimming, never hurt by fire, never troubled by hunger, and no iron will bite you. It will protect you against everything with one exception" (52).

That exception is of course that if he runs away from battle, he can still be killed. Clearly it is a shirt woven with Viking sensibilities in mind. It also happens to be silk, embroidered with gold, and when Odd returns to collect his shirt, he gets a bride as well.

But this isn't the only magic shirt in the Viking Romances, either. Just the first mentioned.

3) The sword called Tyrfing
     For a change, it doesn't belong to Odd, but rather his opponent, Angantyr. Two things make it special:

• It was forged by dwarfs.
• It cuts through anything, including iron and rock. (But presumably not Odd's shirt.)

And we'll take a breather here, but tune in next week for more Magical Objects! Because there are a lot of them, friends and followers.

King Gauti is a Boss (Seven Viking Romances III)

I don't use that expression with any kind of frequency, but man, King Gauti, he is the definition. Frankly, I find him a hundred times more compelling than Gautrek, for whom this particular romance was named. Let me just give you a few highlights from the second of the Seven Viking Romances.

1) King Gauti hunted himself out of his clothes, chasing after a stag. That is how seriously he takes his business. He'd wounded it and lost his spear to it, and if he had to charge through the forest NAKED, he was getting it back. His clothes were getting in the way, because he was hunting that hard and  sweating up that much of a virile storm, so he just went ahead and stripped down to his skivvies and kept on going.

2) At some point around dusk, he realized oh hey, I'm kind of lost, but whatever, I'm King Gauti and a Boss. He followed the bark of a dog (still mostly naked, mind you) because he'd lost all his retainers and hunting party while he was so single-mindedly pursuing the aforementioned stag, and came upon a house in the woods. After watching a servant kill the dog  with an axe for barking and leading Gauti to the house, the king just Smiled to Himself. And when he realized he wasn't going to be invited in? It's cool, King Gauti the Boss just went ahead and shoved his way through said armed and clearly unstable servant and invited himself. 

3) Let me give you a some excerpt here because this is how King Gauti rolls: 

He realized that he wasn't at all suitably dressed for sleeping out; on the other hand he wasn't sure what sort of hospitality he would be offered if he waited for an invitation, so he walked up boldly to the door. The other man ran into the doorway with the idea of keeping him out, but the king forced his way past him into the house. In the living-room he saw four men and four women, but there was no word of welcome for King Gauti. So he sat himself down.

4) At this point, after barging his way unarmed and undressed into their home, and inviting himself to take a seat: 

When the king saw that he wasn't going to be invited to share the meal, he took a seat at the table next to the farmer, picked up some food, and settled down to eat.

5) King Gauti the Boss then proceeds to bed himself down in their house, uninvited, and when one of the farmer's daughters approaches him in the night, offering "a bit of hospitality" King Gauti's response? "Things are looking up." 

I'm not lying you guys. That is a direct quote from the book. 

6) After he milks her for all the information he can about her family, including but not limited to the story of the Family Cliff (used, of course, to take long walks in the face of famine or any kind of hardship, like a king showing up mostly naked and inviting himself to dinner, which is apparently the HARDEST of times, because the farmer's already decided he's going to go ahead and die the next day, taking his wife and his servant with him), Gauti goes ahead and knocks her up in the bossest of fashions, saying: 

"I can see that you're the most eloquent member of your family," said the king, "and you can rely on me. I take it you're still a virgin, so you'd better sleep with me tonight." 

Friends and Followers, I think King Gauti wins at life.

Related:  Arrow-Odd's Odder Religion

That Jerk, Arrow-Odd 

March Roars aka SECRET THINGS!

Forged by Fate's cover art got 3 thumbs up from All Things Urban Fantasy on Wednesday! And it is coming out on Tuesday. TUESDAY! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I'm a little bit excited. In fact, I'm so excited about this coming Tuesday that I am posting on Monday with some exciting awesome THINGS which hopefully will make up for the fact that I am not posting properly this month.

But first, I have some OTHER important THINGS to share with you. Let us begin with some photography:

But wait, I hear you saying, this photo is familiar. Didn't you ALREADY post a picture of yourself signing things? Yes. Yes, I did. When I signed my contract for Forged by Fate, I did indeed immortalize it in the digital world with a picture. So what on earth could I possibly be signing now?! Well, there are two important points to this photograph which I'd like to emphasize now. With more photography.

FIRSTLY:

Yes, that is Zeus on my shirt, pitching lightning bolts from the clouds after deflecting a fish with his forehead. This may or may not be a clue as to which of my manuscripts was the impetus of this immortalized moment.

And SECOND:

Yes, that does say Folio Literary Management. And Retainer Agreement. And Michelle Brower. 

And yes, yes I did sign with an agent!

A wonderfully enthusiastic agent, in fact, who makes free with exclamation points the way I had always hoped one would!

This is just the beginning of the story -- and I promise you, there will be a full accounting of "how I got my agent" so definitely check back after Forged by Fate's release for all the details! For now, let me point you to a few new places where you will find me (and I hope you'll follow me!), because I'm embarking on a publication quest in a new genre with Michelle, and that means I get to be TWO authors moving forward. 

So, Friends and Followers, meet Amalia Carosella, my alter ego, who will be pursuing a traditional publishing career writing historical fiction! You'll find us on Twitter, Facebook, and over yonder at www.amaliacarosella.com. 

But don't despair -- Good to Begin Well isn't going anywhere, either! It will still be the same blog it's always been. I just hope you'll add Helen loves Theseus* to your blogrolls as well :)

So! There you have it! DEFINITELY WITHOUT A DOUBT check back on Monday, because you are going to want to know the DEETS surrounding Forged by Fate's party central, aka, this blog. I hope you'll all bear with me through the excess of author enthusiasm and we can reach the other side of this together, at which point, I promise you at LEAST a summary regarding King Gautrek. (So far this Norseman is definitely giving the Greeks a run for their money in the Explicitly Naked Hero department.)

Monday!!! Be here or Be Square!!

*This may or may not be another clue as to which manuscript finally catapulted me out of the trenches of the Query Wars.

Ahhhhh! T-minus Two Weeks!

So, a lot is happening right now and we are exactly TWO WEEKS from the Forged by Fate release!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

What this means: I am losing my head.

What else this means: I am driving everyone around me crazy. Seriously, you have no idea. And not just with Forged by Fate related things either, though I am definitely driving el husband toward the level of demented when I lean over his shoulder while he works on things I asked him to do. You guys are going to love the results of what we are brewing over here, I promise.

What else else this means: my house is a shambles. Between El Husband using his free time to help me prepare RELEASE things and me using my time to freak out over all things writerly related, yeah. It's a problem. I would not be surprised if one of these days he comes home to find me curled up in the corner, rocking back and forth with scary blank eyes. (Not really. I am fine. Just busy-busy-busy getting everything I can get squared away squared away in advance! And um. Stuff! That I am not ready to spill the beans about! But definitely DEFINITELY you want to hit up the blog on March 4th for exciting awesome excitement.)

And also: I am writing guest posts for The Release and my brain is mush.

But all that said, some VERY EXCITING things are coming to the blog soon, INCLUDING COVER ART on Friday! (And let me know if you want in on some of this Cover Art Reveal Action, because we can totally do this thing!)

I should probably get back to reading Seven Viking Romances so I can fill you guys in on King Gautrek, who, so far, is much less offensive in personality than Arrow-Odd, though he certainly shows the same strange disregard for daughters.

DID THE SAGA OF THE VOLSUNGS TEACH YOU NOTHING, SIR?

More soon, blogfriends and followers. I promise.

Arrow-Odd's Odder Religion (Seven Viking Romances)

About twenty pages from the end of this first Viking Romance (Seven Viking Romances, Hermann Pálsson, Penguin, 1985) Odd exchanges some poetry with a priestess of Frey, that goes like this*:

Priestess: Whose the leader of this monstrous army?!
Odd: Me! and I burned all your temples, destroyed your idols, and couldn't care less!
Priestess: Frey will smite you, and so will the other gods, who will support me, their priestess!
Odd: I'm not afraid of you or your gods! God is my God!
Priestess:

"Who fostered you
to be such a fool,
as not to offer
sacrifice to Odin?"

Odd: Ingjald, what of it? I was totally ungrateful and rude to him, too.**
Priestess: WOE! my husband is dead!
Odd: And I killed him! HA!
Priestess: Who helped you, you monster?!
Odd: Just my wicked sweet magic arrows from this random mysterious guy I was drawn to sup with, AND, I never worshipped YOUR worthless gods! because they're worthless!

"These gutless gods
ran like scared goats
before a wolf
wherever I worried them.
Odin's bad
as a bosom friend:
so we'll do away
with devil-worship."

Priestess: WOE! *flees to hide in a temple*
Odd: Ha HA!

Odd then proceeds to be nervous about entering said temple, and ends up killing the priestess by throwing a giant boulder through the skylight, so he doesn't have to go in after her, in spite of the fact that he just proclaimed her gods totally made of lame.

But earlier in this story, a number of things take place which kind of makes all this anti-Odin stuff a little, well, odd.

1) Odd says he doesn't really believe in or worship ANY gods, though admittedly he states explicitly that he does not worship Odin.
2) Odd confesses that among the Christians, after his baptism (which he only agreed to upon the condition that he could keep on killing all the peoples in this matter-of-fact, I-guess-I-will-get-baptized-since-you-people-will-not-leave-me-alone moment that inspires no one), that he's "never been so bored in my life." And he SNEAKS AWAY to go back to his raiding, murdering, ungrateful ways.
3) One of his blood-brothers, "Red-Beard" is theorized in the story to be Odin, Himself, who gives Odd all kinds of help and good advice, and is repeatedly praised for giving good advice.
4) SO MUCH UNCHRISTIAN MAGIC.
5) After his baptism, Odd proceeds to go on for 40 pages without the slightest reference to Christianity or his supposed faith and trust in God.
6) This Norse-God loving priestess appears to have lived in Antioch, and Odd? he was fighting for Greece.

On this basis, I am going to call shenanigans on this insertion of religion into the story, and the whole "devil-worship" bit. Odd is easily the LEAST Christian person in the history of men baptized for convenience. Now, Odd's story does get recorded late -- the end of the 13th century or so. But reading this, I have a really hard time believing Odd's story didn't originate much earlier, with the Christian bits as an overlay, added at the time it was written down. Why else is Odd hanging around with Odin and going to Giantland where he's making babies with Giant-Ladies, even though he only comes up to their hip in height?

That said, I don't know what the scholarly consensus is, regarding these stories, so, maybe I'm way off base with my thoughts. Maybe Odd really is just a really bad Christian in a time of really bad Christians.

But I still say he is REALLY weird.

*forgive my paraphrasing
**this second part is my own addition

Seven Viking Romances: Arrow-Odd

I'm reading Seven Viking Romances (Penguin Classics, edited by Hermann Pálsson) right now -- a fantastic Christmas Gift from my brother, who has read more of this stuff than I am likely to ever manage -- but I'll be honest with you, the first "romance" ARROW-ODD is kind of, well... Odd.

Odd himself is kind of a jerk, and not the least sympathetic. I'm not really surprised by this, because it was a different culture and a different time, and when you read the stories of Theseus and Pirithous and Heracles from the modern perspective, they're kind of jerky too. But Odd isn't just a jerk, he's pretty ungrateful and demanding, from the start. As a young man, he's gifted arrows by people (I don't know why, I wouldn't give him anything) and leaves them lying around for people to sit on and hurt themselves, and then when his foster-father takes him to task for it, he demands the man slaughter one of his goats to make him a premium-grade quiver to keep them, because, he says "I'd have thought you could only blame me if you'd given me something to keep them in," (p. 27).

Then, when that's settled (what a little punk kid!) his father invites a prophetess to give them their fortunes and tell them their fates -- but for some completely unexplained reason, Odd thinks this is a terrible idea and is furious with his foster father for doing it, even more so when the woman gives him his fortune, that he'll live 300 years before he's killed by the skull of his horse. He's so mad, in fact, that he ATTACKS HER with a stick, and bloodies her nose. (what!?)

And this is all before he ditches his foster parents (good-riddance) and starts going out and killing people, completely unprovoked, just to prove that he's "the better man." Oh. Okay, then. On one of these quests, for example, this exchange takes place (p. 59):

'[...] Shall we carry on fighting or part now, because I can tell you how our battle is bound to end. Your sworn-brothers Hjalmar and Thord will both fall here, and so will every one of your followers. All my warriors will be killed, too, only the two of us will be left standing, and then, if we fight it out, you will be the death of me.'

'On with the game then, till all our men and yours are dead,' said Odd.

In  contrast, his "sworn-brother," Hjalmar comes off as downright AWESOME when he proposes these rules for Viking-ing to Odd (p. 49):

1) His people don't and won't eat raw meat. (I'm not sure what the cultural significance is to this but I kind of want to find out.)
2) Never rob merchants or peasants beyond what is needed to cover IMMEDIATE needs.
3) Never rob women. No matter how alone or how rich or how easy a target.
4) No woman is to be taken against her will, upon penalty of death.

Odd agrees, sure, because he perceives Hjalmar as his equal, but the first time things don't go his way, he's ready to throw number 4 out the window for revenge, and is only stopped by the bribe of a magic shirt. I'm still kind of hoping that it will poison him before the end of the story -- but alas, we already know Odd's fate: He gets to live 4 times longer than he has any right to, to continue being a jerk to people in four countries.

I'm hoping the story of King Gautrek in the next romance will offer me some kind of hero I can root for.