Sunday, June 20, 2010

Bad Boy Blogfest!

I have no idea what this is or where it's going (just wrote it yesterday for this fest from the prompt of the word Amok), but he seems like a very, very, bad man. So. That seems close to bad boy? Thanks to Tina Lynn for hosting this fabulous (and much more challenging than I had expected) blogfest! Make sure to follow the link and read the other entries!

The world roared with silence and despair, so loud that his laugh disappeared, like a pebble dropped into a pit that never stops falling. He cracked his knuckles, and she flinched at the pop of the joints. If she could have spoken, she would have screamed, but it wouldn't have mattered. No one would have heard her, either.

"I would apologize, but I know you'd prefer my honesty." He had a feral smile that would have been more at home on a wolf's face than a man's. "And the truth is, after what your husband did to me, this is really only fair. An eye for an eye, so to speak. He took my head, so I'll drive you out of yours."

She wrapped her arms around her knees and pressed herself harder against the wall, cold and unforgiving stone. It was always stone. Why was it always stone?

"Do you know," he went on, "I didn't expect it to be so easy. It kind of takes some of the fun out of it, now." He inhaled deeply through his nose, and exhaled with a sigh. "But I do love the smell of fear and agony. All these women who walk in beaten and walk out emptied of their entire reason for being. What is a woman, in this day and age, without the means to bear children?"

Tears streamed down her cheeks, but she couldn't even sob aloud. He had taken that from her, just as he had taken the wombs from the others. She would heal, of course, and in a week she'd be able to speak again, but for now, while he worked, the only noises she could make were the whisper of cloth against skin and the sweep of her bare heels against the tile floor.

He crouched before her, holding the white nodes in his fingers, strung with thin wires that she had not yet managed to snap quickly enough to stop the pain they caused. His eyes swept over her and then he smiled again and set them down on the countertop above her.

"You're not going to be good for me today, are you?"

She bared her teeth, her fingers curling into claws. He was too fast for her to hurt too badly. Somehow his hands always found her wrists before she could make him bleed.

He tsked and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, opening it up, white and clean. He didn't meet her eyes as he began to refold it on the diagonal. "Then I guess I'll have to do something about it."

She lurched away, but the stone wall and the cabinets served him now instead of her. What had been the safety of shelter now became a cage, and he dragged her out, laughing while she struggled, and bent her over the cold metal counter, her arms behind her back. Her wrists were trapped by his long fingers and he tied the handkerchief around them so tight her blood stopped flowing. The nodes rested just beyond the tip of her nose.

He released her once she was bound, and she straightened, backing away. He paced after her, slow and easy. They both knew what came next. They both knew that he'd win, in the end.

"If you behave, maybe I'll tell you what happened to your child," he said, the wolf's grin stretching across his features when she froze. "You want to know, don't you? Why they made sure it wouldn't live?"

She pulled at the binding on her wrists, her nails digging into her palms, but there was no give. Cold sweat trickled down her spine. Kill him. She wanted to kill him. If he knew, he had been part of it; she understood that much by now.

"Oh, no," he said, picking up the nodes and stepping toward her. She didn't step back. "No, it wasn't me who ordered it, though I would have taken great delight in doing so if I had known what kind of trouble you'd be to me. I didn't even know you existed, then." He nodded to the chair, straight-backed and maned with wiring. "Sit down, and I'll tell you everything."

Her baby.

"That's it," he murmured, when she stepped forward.

The silence roared in her ears, an ocean pounding against a cliff face. She trembled at the sound, and the emptiness that would swallow her whole. He was near enough to touch her, to press the white nodes to her temples, her forehead. His fingers trailed along her jaw as he finished, then traced the shape of her lips.

She snapped at him, her teeth finding flesh and bone. He laughed, forcing his finger harder against her teeth.

"Go ahead," he said. "If you have it in you, after all I've done, I'll call it a success."

They stared at one another. The taste of copper and venom filled her mouth.

"Do it."

She spit out his finger and turned her face away.

He chuckled low and threw her into the chair. "Maybe you'll feel more cooperative tomorrow."

Tears blurred her vision and she closed her eyes. He tightened the straps of the chair around her ankles, and across her chest, still laughing to himself. She let the silence wash over her, the roaring ocean and the desperate agony.

Then fire ran through her, hot and fierce, and even without her voice, she still screamed.

If you prefer a more traditional badish boy, there's always Jean, though. Under the cut, so don't feel obligated unless you want something to wash the taste of evil out of your eye sockets!

[excerpt removed]

So uhm, I hope that covers my bases?


  1. Your bad truly is bad with a capitol B. Yes, we both went with the evil of bad boys. Where would our heroes be without them? What does DayStar say? "Evil makes Good look better."

  2. I don't usually go evil-madman with my stuff, but it was fun. And yes, it certainly does make good look better! Thanks for stopping by, Roland!

  3. That was chilling, Amalia. *shuders* He is evil with a capital E. The whole silence thing was very erie also. Great entry.

  4. Evil, and also melodramatic. Always a good combination.

  5. Ooh. This is the kind of bad boy I don't like, but bad boy still, and holy schnikies are you good with description, love. Thanks for participating.

  6. Oui. You covered both bases. Is Jean free for the evening? He's like Le hot:)

  7. Oh I do like this bad boy. Truly evil character. So menacing and spooky.


  8. That was nightmarishly good, but I must now wash the evil away!

  9. Raquel: Thanks! I didn't really know what I was doing so I'm glad it worked :)

    Stu: Agreed. Thanks for stopping by!

    Tina: haha! I'm glad you liked Jean. I, too, enjoy the Frenchman. That's part of why he got his own little too long short story. Thanks!! And Thanks for hosting!!:)

    Donna: Thank you! I'm glad you liked this piece-- I don't think I've ever done anything else like it.

    Tricia: hahaha. Yeah, sorry about that. Thanks for stopping by :)

  10. UM


    *stares enviously at Amalia* *hugs anway*


    WRITE MORE PLEASE. Kthnx. I would read more FOR SURE.

  11. Gah! Really? you liked it that much? *blush* Thanks, Mia!! *hugs!*

  12. Only read the first one.
    Not sure what is going on but I like it...very bad!

  13. I'm loving your bad boy. Great imagery wow! Pulled me right in. Fabulous work!

  14. I sort of feel sick. That was very well written. More of the bad guy than a bad boy, but bad all the same. Evil, really.

  15. Andrew: thanks!

    Renae: Thanks for stopping by the blog! I'm glad you enjoyed this!

    Erin: Gack! sorry about the sick-ness! He is pretty evil, I agree. Thanks for stopping by!

  16. I like the first one. Didn't get around to reading the second as they're a little long and have stuff to do on Father's Day. But you did a great job with the villain bad guy. Nice work on that one.

  17. Dawn: that's why I cut it--so that people wouldn't feel obligated. No worries. It's only there to ease my own conscience. :)

  18. Ohh, he's not a bad boy, he's a true villain!

    I kind of want to know what her husband did to him, to trigger such terrible rage.

  19. Mari: I have an idea, though I'm not completely certain, I think it might have involved a beheading... It's a little bit complicated.
    Thanks for stopping by the blog!

  20. Oh, so he's a headless zombie or something. Uh, chilling...

    My pleasure! I'll make sure to come back once in a while. :)

  21. haha. Not exactly, but maybe. I'm not entirely sure.

  22. Wow you're spoiling us! One BAD bad guy and one bad guy, 'normal' edition to go...

    I like both, one for shudders, one more for smiles, but they are both great!

  23. Haha. Well I wanted to make sure I got it right. :P Thanks Tessa! I'm glad you liked them!

  24. Oh my! This one is truly evil. He gave me the shivers!! Really well written! ;)

  25. I need more of this man RIGHT NOW. There's nothing more sinister than a madman out for revenge. Wow. Whatever you do, keep him.

    Plus, if that's you writing off the cuff last night, I'm jealous. That might be one of the tightest early drafts I've ever seen.

  26. "The world roared with silence and despair, so loud that his laugh disappeared" Great first line! And what a sinister evil dude. Your MC is pretty bad herself, biting off his finger and all.

    Your Jean is yummy, but I'm waiting for the badness to start dripping out of him, too. See what Evil Dude did to me, lol.

    I agree with Kate, your writing rocks!

    Thanks, Olivia

  27. Talei: He gives me shivers too :) Thanks!

    Kate: hahaha! Yeah, I'll keep him. I just don't know if he'll get any more of a story than this :) And thank you! *blush* You are very kind.

    Olivia: Thanks! She's less bad and more desperate, I think. Haha. Jean isn't so terrible. He's just a womanizer-ish. :) Thanks for stopping by!

  28. Whoa, I'm speechless. Dark, scary, unnerving! I'm having a hard time imagining where she is other than a cold wall behind her and a cabinet above her and why she lets him torture her. These are all good things. It makes me want to read more, to learn of the world you've built. WOw...

    Great job, Amalia! I love your written word! <3

    Thank you for your thoughts on my bad boy! :)

  29. What's better than a bad boy? Two bad boys, of course! i must say, your first bad boy passed 'bad' and arrived at evil long ago. Jean on the other hand is rather, well, charming for lack of a better word. Fabulous description throughout.

    Superb work mon ami!

  30. Thanks Elizabeth! I'm glad you enjoyed it!! thanks for commenting :)

    VR: Yeah I might have gone a little bit overboard with the first piece :P but charming is exactly what I was going for with Jean! POSSIBLY I just couldn't help myself, but I am glad you liked them both! Thanks!

  31. Your first bad boy is evil incarnate!! WOW!!

    And Jean reminds me of the character Matthew McConaughey played in Ghosts of Girlfriends past. Deliciously devious!

    Great job on both!

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  33. Okay, this wasn't one I should have read right before bed. Very creepy. Great job. :)

  34. Wow. That was so intense. I hurt for her so badly. Epic line: "...even without her voice, she still screamed."

    <3 Kelsey Leigh

  35. Suzie: I never saw that movie! Maybe I'll have to make sure I do now :) Thanks!

    Roni: Oh dear! No, I can't blame you. Sorry about that!

    Kelsey: that was one of my favorite lines too. Thanks for your comment!

  36. You had me hooked from the first. Loved the line: 'his laugh disappeared, like a pebble dropped into a pit that never stops falling.' Great stuff, great bad boy..:)

  37. I'm so sad I missed this blogfest! Maybe I'll post a late entry!

    I have an award for you at my blog!


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