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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Wheels on the Bus II

(Back by popular demand! In our last episode, we left Thor and his companion in ZOMBIE LAND after their near-miss encounter with that Frost Giant on the bus. Their adventures continue today, much to the chagrin of all parties, in GLITTER-TOPIA! This episode would not have been possible without Mia's co-authoring excellence!)

Now, I have nothing against zombies themselves, really. As long as they're drooling and shambling and glitterizing somewhere else, I'm perfectly content to let them co-exist in the world. Thor did not share this opinion. In the slightest.
"Zombie Land," he sneered.
I sighed. "You have no one to blame but yourself, really. If you hadn't been about to pick a fight with a Frost Giant on the bus, we wouldn't have had to get off in such a hurry."
Thunder rumbled again overhead and I pulled my hood tight to keep the wind out. 
"Yeah, yeah," I said, trudging off in the direction of the next bus stop. "I know you're cranky. How do you think I feel about all this glitter? I'm one wrong face-rub away from putting an eye out!"
Thor snorted. Whether in amusement at my semi-irrational fear of glitter on my face, or irritation with the fact that I wasn't taking HIS aggravation seriously, I didn't care.
"So your solution, then, is to get back on a bus?" he asked.
"My solution is to get out of zombie land before you start trying to pick fights with them, too. There should be another bus in ten minutes." I glanced at him sidelong. "Unless of course you have a better idea?"
Thunder gods are very accomplished glower-ers. I didn't even have to look at his face to know he was doing it. The sky had turned slate grey over my head and lightning flashed, reflecting off the snow.
"You know the rules." Thunder cracked, emphasizing his words. "No miracles, minor, major, or otherwise. That includes teleportation out of Zombie land."
"Forget I mentioned it," I mumbled. "I was just trying to illustrate a point."
A semi-truck blew by, sending a cloud of glitter swirling up into the air. I couldn't quite stop myself from moaning as I buried my face in my hands to protect my eyes. 
"I hate Frost Giants!"
That time, Thor chuckled. "I warned you not to take the bus."
When the glitter cloud settled I lifted my face and glared at him. Thunder gods were very good at being right, too. It was insufferable at the best of times, and I didn't dignify his comment with a response, stalking to the street corner instead.
"Perhaps next time you'll believe me when I say you'd be better off taking a cab." A flicker of sunlight glanced off a stop sign and I knew without looking he was still laughing at me. 
I huffed and ignored him, making for an over-sparkled bus-shelter down the street. I hated taking cabs. The drivers might as well have been zombies. At least on the bus you knew you wouldn't wind up in an accident or the middle of some kind of road-rage episode.
Inside the shelter, I crossed my arms over my chest to keep from accidentally coming into contact with any more glitter. Thor leaned against the wall, Mjolnir at his hip, seemingly without regard for all the tiny shards of shining plastic and glass. Of course. Thunder Gods don't have to worry about scratching their corneas on man-made (and might I add, completely unnecessary) glitz. 
"You can't really be angry," Thor murmured. 
The sun shone, reflecting rainbows, and I sighed. "Zombie Land is not an improvement over Frost giants who WERE minding their own business until you started getting uppity."
A purple bus pulled up, trailing feathers and bringing another cloud of glitter. I shut my eyes tight and held my breath until the toxic rain stopped pinging against my skin. I marched up the steps when the doors opened, not glancing back to see if Thor followed.
"And if you hadn't identified me, we'd still be on the bus--albeit uncomfortably near to a monster that would just as soon grind your bones to make his bread as sit passively."
I grabbed one of the overhead handles, spinning to glare at him. "Oh, sure. It's MY fault that you can't control your urge to pummel things for a ten minute ride." 
"You should sit down," he told me, but his lips were twitching again, and his amusement didn't help my irritation. "Unless you'd prefer I be required to catch you every time the bus stops."
I narrowed my eyes, then turned my back on him. But when I looked for a likely seat...
Well.
The bus was an open platform, filled with hunched bodies. They hung to the railings and chewed on the metal posts. 
"Oh, no."
When I turned back to Thor, a zombie was gnawing on the corner of Mjolnir. Lightning flashed and thunder shook the bus.
This--
This was not good.

12 comments:

  1. Hahahaha so the thunder-god gets his hammar chewed on by a zombie-- I didn't see that coming! I love how she could tell he was glowing even without looking at him...though does he realize glowing is actually kind of similar to glittering? Bwa-ha-ha!

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  2. That was a refreshing break from what I've been doing all day! Thor's hammer getting gnawed on by a zombie--hilarious~

    This was a great read, Amalia. I <3 it.

    PS: I did notice a spot where you used the wrong your. Just a heads up!

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  3. Di: lol!!!! I think he does NOT realize it :P

    Devin: THANK you! all fixed now :) So glad you're enjoying it! we'll have part three up for next week.

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  4. Hahahaha. Oh dear. Oh my. What a bus to get on.

    Love this, loved co-authoring, maybe love Thorturing Thor a, um, lot.

    :)

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  5. Mia: I knooooow. He just makes it so easy, is the thing!

    you + me + Thor + Zombies = Comedy GOLD

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  6. GENIUS.

    You guys are GENIUS. *with glitter on top*

    Poor Thor. LOL.

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  7. Ba ha ha ha ha ha. Hilarious! I love that Zombie Land is full of glitter. Makes it seem less... undead... somehow.

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  8. Can't blame them zombies. I bet Thor's hammer is delicious :P

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  9. Thor really should take better care of his things. You leave your hammer untended on a bus full of zombies, you get what you deserve. I think somebody could use an anger management class or two.

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  10. Oh, Thor… And now they're trapped in a bus full of hammer-eating zombies. Not good at all!

    Dropped by to say you've just won a blog award! http://specnology.blogspot.com/2011/01/i-win-blog-award.html

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  11. I love, love, love this *dances around in pure bliss*

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  12. I kinda want to visit Zombie Land now... GLITTER! *throws glitter* *hurries to vacuum it up before Amalia has a conniption*

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